I’m always on the lookout for good information about relationships and I read a great article by Brittany Wong, “8 Things Happy Couples Do When They Feel Disconnected.”
If you’ve been reading my newsletter for a while, you know that I was a divorce attorney for 20 years. And now I’ve been doing Sedona Soul Adventures for over 20 years, helping people stay together.
So when I saw the title, I checked it out and I completely agree with her. Because happy couples who want to stay happy, know they’ve got to do something if disconnection is setting in.
Here are what she says are the “8 Things Happy Couples Do When They Feel Disconnected,” plus my comments on her 8 points:
1. They address the disconnect quickly.
The sooner the better.
2. They also make it a “we” problem instead of a “you” problem.
Laying blame on the other person doesn’t work and it’s going to get you exactly what you don’t want – more disconnection.
3. When disconnection happens, secure couples are more likely to respond versus react.
Going into anger or upset doesn’t work. Lovingly reaching out to your partner can start the reconnection.
4. They make a plan to reconnect.
Smart couples know that if something is starting to go wrong, it’s just going to get worse unless you do something about it.
5. They recognize the problem may be unrelated to their relationship.
What I’ve found in over 40 years of working with couples, is that usually it isn’t the other person and it usually isn’t the relationship that’s causing the trouble. More often than not it’s the triggering of older, much deeper issues.
6. They handle their partner’s feelings sensitively and are quick to ask, “How can I help?”
Rather than being demanding or confrontational, they reach out with love.
7. They know the disconnect is only temporary.
In a good relationship, both people have a belief that if they try to reconnect and do something about it, they can probably come back into connection.
8. They follow through.
Secure couples know that if disconnection is happening, they need to:
1) Do something about it.
2) Follow through on doing something about it.
As I read this article, I kept thinking “yes, that’s right,” “yes, that’s right,” and “that’s exactly why the answer to disconnection is doing a Couples Retreat.”
After 40 years of working with Couples (20 as a Divorce Attorney and now 20 years doing Sedona Soul Adventures), I know that all of these elements are so true. When a couple goes into disconnection, they can feel it and it feels really bad.
Humans are genetically wired for connection and when that disconnection sets in, it throws everything off. Suddenly, work isn’t as satisfying; fun things you used to do aren’t as enjoyable; your connection with other people (even your children) can suffer. If you don’t do something about it, it can affect every single area of your life, even your financial abundance and your health.
That’s why over half of the things to do she talks about in the article are about Doing Something – doing something as soon as possible and following through.
Doing nothing is where the danger lies.
Thinking that everything is just going to somehow magically “turn around” without you doing anything about it, puts you straight on the road to Splitsville. I’ve seen it over and over again. You start to drift, the disconnection sets in, and then suddenly one person is having an affair (and feeling justified) or it finally gets to the point where there just doesn’t seem like there are any good reasons to stay together.
And I especially love it in this article that she is saying that happy couples recognize the problem may be unrelated to their relationship.
After all these years of working with couples, we see it over and over again that what’s usually causing most of the trouble for people are old wounds, blocks, things that happened in childhood, and generational problems that most people don’t even realize are affecting them right now.
While I was a divorce attorney for 20 years, I had a number of clients that I did three divorces for over those years and it was always the same thing. They were marrying the same person over and over again – they just had a different name. They were never learning the lessons, never doing the healing.
Our Practitioners are masters at discovering and releasing all this “gunk” and bringing people back into connection on all the levels – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And that’s how the reconnection happens.
Sandy says, “We went to see if we could save our marriage. We left with a much deeper understanding of each other and a connection we hadn’t experienced in years.”
Oh my gosh, isn’t that so amazing? They came to see if they could save their marriage. They left with a much deeper understanding of each other and a connection they hadn’t felt in years. That’s the magic of what we do.
If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, the most important thing is you need to do something about it, you need to do it sooner rather than later and you need to follow through.
Or if you’d prefer, call us at (928) 204-5988 or request a call from one of our Soul Guides.
Did you know Sedona Soul Adventures was named “Best of Sedona”
for Retreats for 2020, 2021 & 2022,
“Best Marriage Retreats in the US” 2015-2023 and
one of the “11 Best Couples Retreats Around the World”
by Bride’s Magazine in 2022? We were recently named one of
Global Radiance Review’s “20 Most Trustworthy Companies of 2023”
It’s because what we do gets results – call us now, let us help. As I always say, if you knew what could happen, you’d be calling right now.
Your relationship?
Finding your life purpose?
Loss of a loved one?
Healing & pampering?
Or is it something else?
Because we’re here for you – and we’re even open on Sunday!
Remember, there’s no cost or obligation to speak with a Soul Guide and have them custom-design the perfect retreat just for you in Sedona or At Home.
Call us at (928) 204-5988 or request a call from one of our
Soul Guides and they will call you.
Wishing you a week filled with the deepest connection!